We Are Wall Street

We are Wall Street. And you’re not. It’s our job to make money. And if we can’t, we’ll get The Ben Bernanke to print it. Can you do that? We didn’t think so. Like one of our buddies said, whether it’s a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of fake paper, it doesn’t matter. We would trade baseball cards if it were profitable. Remember how we crash landed those pumped-up Asian currencies in 1997? Think that didn’t help Wal-Mart? And that’s where you shop, isn’t it? So quit your bellyaching. We didn’t hear America complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone’s 401k doubled every 3 years. It doesn’t matter if that’s fake money. Money’s money. The Dow was 1,500 twenty five years ago. Say thank you. And don’t give us any of that nonsense that it’s your savings we’re playing with. Let me ask you something. You’re going to make a loan to General Motors? No. You can’t do that deal can you? And what’s good for General Motors is good for America. You need us. You need us in a Jack Nicholson kind of way. Read more.

 

Wall Street Psychopaths

We were very offended by last week's Bloomberg article about CEO psychopaths on Wall Street. Every time we turn around, we're reading about Lloyd this and Jamie that. It gets monotonous. Who do these journos think does all the work around here? How about a couple of articles about us?

Bloomberg columnist William Cohan, whom we usually like, cites an academic paper by somebody named Clive, who has an affiliation with Nottingham University, which we think is in Europe somewhere. We're not surprised that a guy from Robin Hood's neighborhood would have some misunderstandings about how finance works. But we are surprised that Bloomberg would use the artifice of citing an academic paper to avoid being accused of having low journalistic standards, like us.

Let's be clear. Our bosses are all assholes and it's nice to see them squirm once in a while.  But calling a Wall Street CEO a psychopath is tautological. Of course they're psychopaths. So are we. Read more.

 

No Russian Bots, No Nigerian Banks

We've received a few emails expressing some concern that clicking the links on our spam might install a Russian bot on your computer or drain all your savings into a Nigerian bank. We have two points to say about that and we're going to make up a third, a result of our years knowing way too many McKinsey people. Read more.